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 04/04/2004, 9:43 AM
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Delboy
 
Joined on 15/08/2003
Posts 5,089
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Re: Joke of the day..........
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Very, very old one
An American was being taken on a tour round London in a black cab.
Cabbie, “On your right is the Tower of London”.
Tourist, “Say how long did it take to build that?”
Cabbie, “About 50 years”.
Tourist, “Got a place like that on my ranch in Texas, only took 2 weeks to build”.
This conversation went on for all the buildings, such as St. Paul’s Cathedral, were pointed out. Eventually driving down The Mall the same question was raised regarding Buckingham Palace
“Dunno”, said the cabbie, “Weren’t there this morning”
The EXPERT knows more and more about less and less until he knows everything about nothing .
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04/04/2004, 10:55 AM
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Budgie
Joined on 16/08/2003
Cromer
Posts 1,060
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Re: Joke of the day..........
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So this strapping young farmer's son was told to take the cow to the next farm and let it run with the bull.
The lad was pleased, there was this beautiful young daughter there that he had always fancied.
Together they went to the pen and let the cow in with the bull.
The blonde farmer's son sat on a fence towering above the young lady and was looking down at her beautiful form - and was getting really randy. Eventually the bull mounted the cow.
'I wish I could do that,' he said wistfully to the sexy young thing.
'Well, you can... it's your cow!'
I might look darf but I ain't stuput!
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04/04/2004, 2:42 PM
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Keith Gerrard
Joined on 14/08/2003
Posts 1,589
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Re: Joke of the day..........
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Old bull and young bull stood on a hill and eyed uo a herd of cows.
Young bull said, "lets rush down the hill and mount one of those cows">
Old bull replied, "Na, lets trot down slowly and mount the lot".
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04/04/2004, 4:40 PM
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Matty
Joined on 29/01/2004
Vancouver Island, Canada
Posts 1,722
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Re: Joke of the day..........
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Fred at 87 shuffles down to his Doctor of many years and demands a sperm count.
The Doctor humoured his elderly patient with " Fred, you're 87, Martha your wife is 84 - it really isn't necessary at this stage in life."
Fred was not detered and became quite annoyed. The Doctor gave in, gave a smile to his receptionist and promptly gave Fred a jar with the comment " You know what to do, see you tomorrow".
His arrival in the morning sparked some interest in the surgery and Fred entered the Doctor's office. Before Fred could say a word the Doctor grabbed the jar and chipped in with " Freddd......., it's empty".
Fred stood his ground with " I know that !!!!!. I tried with my right hand," ( the Doctor nodded ), " I tried with my left hand," ( Doc nodded again ). " Martha tried with her right hand, " ( the Doc smirked ), " Martha tried with her left hand," ( more nods - but not one word. " Martha tried with her teeth in ", the Doctor leaned back in his chair, eyes getting bigger, " Martha tried with her teeth out ". The Doctor can't believe it.
Fred by now was standing and getting a little peeved at the condescending attitude.
He leaned over the desk, slapped down the empty jar and said.....
" And neither of us could open the bloody jar ".
Heard that one from my Bank Manager, ( female ) a while back, and that stopped me in my tracks for a few short minutes. Told my lawyer and the look on his face was worth every penny of his fee!!!!
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04/04/2004, 5:41 PM
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bangkok steve
Joined on 03/04/2004
Posts 11
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Re: Joke of the day..........
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Q.What were Saddam Husseins first words when they dragged him from his hole in the desert?
A. "Did I beat David Blaine?"
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05/04/2004, 1:39 AM
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Monkey Boy
Joined on 06/01/2004
The edge of Breckland
Posts 789
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Re: Joke of the day..........
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seeing the one " Dyslexics lure KO " I got sent this one recently.
Fowrdraed form a firend ...
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and
you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey
lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. ceehiro
That'll klil the splelchekcer!
I'm just a Chimp off the old block
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05/04/2004, 1:36 PM
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Keith Gerrard
Joined on 14/08/2003
Posts 1,589
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Re: Joke of the day..........
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Must ask Blunket if it works in brail.
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05/04/2004, 2:01 PM
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Derek
Joined on 15/08/2003
Posts 1,876
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Re: Joke of the day..........
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Why is the entente cordial only in French?
Derek
snafu - but by design
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05/04/2004, 5:06 PM
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kenneth
Joined on 14/08/2003
Posts 1,102
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Re: Joke of the day..........
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<>.
Weeell Derek, it could be that 'entente cordial(e)' is French. Otherwise it would be written 'friendly relations'. I'm not an expert on this but I think I'm right.
Of course, it also could mean the French soldier's (historic) preference for lolling in a tent with a cordial in hand whilest watching Wellington make a mess of Napolean at Waterloo. Just guessing here.
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05/04/2004, 5:30 PM
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is-it-me
Joined on 18/08/2003
Posts 187
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Re: Joke of the day..........
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Kenneth, could the French soldier be charged with loitering within tent?
Don't you just hate it when someone asks you a rhetorical question and you're not sure whether to reply?
Once you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
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07/04/2004, 3:09 PM
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Derek
Joined on 15/08/2003
Posts 1,876
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Re: Joke of the day..........
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Graffiti under a street name sign on Avenue Road: "What's wrong with the old one?"
Derek
snafu - but by design
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EDP24 Forums » EDP24 General » News » Joke of the day..........
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