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Wedding traditions

Ancient or modern - those traditions still matter Just why is the bride encouraged to wear something blue on her wedding day; what does the best man do; and why do chimney sweeps attend wedding ceremonies?

These are all modern British marriage traditions but their origins lie in the dim and distant past. Admittedly, some have more to do with fantasy, folklore or even superstition than age-old customs, while others perhaps involve myth and even a little mischief.

But they do add fun to a wedding and, you never know, they may bring a little extra luck to the bride and groom. Some traditions are intriguing practices that are woven now into the very fabric of the occasion, and the structure and etiquette of a wedding. There are probably 101 questions any bride and groom could pose when planning their wedding – we’ve selected 20 of the most common conundrums.

Why does the bride wear white?

It’s a colour of purity, joy and celebration stretching back to the ancient Greeks and Romans. But it took off in the bridal fashion stakes when the royals adopted it as a colour for wedding dresses.

Prior to Ann of Brittany popularising the white gown in 1500, brides simply married in their Sunday best. The white dress became a symbol of a woman’s wealth. For her wedding she would have a white dress especially made, that would only ever be worn once.

During the 19th century Queen Victoria’s decision to wear white at her wedding to Prince Albert sparked a fashion trend; quite a turn-up for a queen who spent much of her later life dressed in black.

Why should the bride wear something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue?

A rhyme composed in Victorian times drew together separate strands of a marriage tradition that has been carried forth to this day, with brides wearing something old, new, borrowed and blue.

Each element represents part of the newlywed’s married life. The old represents the couple’s friends who will hopefully remain close during the marriage and the new is to signal a happy and prosperous future.

That which is “borrowed” is normally an item of value loaned by the bride’s family to be returned to ensure good luck, while the custom of wearing something blue originated in the Middle East where the bride wore a blue ribbon in her hair to represent fidelity.

Why do we have bridesmaids?

These fair maidens in matching gowns attend and support the bride while she prepares for her wedding day as well as during the ceremony.

In medieval times their role was to work with the groom’s men to protect the couple, with each bridesmaid wearing similar clothes to confuse those who did not approve of the union and who wished to sabotage the ceremony.

Later the bridesmaids had to lead the bridegroom to church, while the bridegroom’s men conducted the bride to the altar, before the roles reversed into today’s tradition of bridesmaids attending the bride and the best man attending the groom.

According to tradition, a bride should not look in the mirror when she’s completely dressed – why not?

It is said that a bride who looks in the mirror wearing her complete wedding outfit would leave part of herself in the reflection.

Therefore, the bride would not be capable of giving all of herself to her new husband. As always, there’s a simple solution to break such a superstition. Superstitious brides taking one last look in the mirror before heading for the church could simply leave off one item – a shoe, perhaps?

Why is it considered to be bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony?

This has more to do with avoiding a last minute change of heart than simple bad luck. In the past, when marriages in this country tended to be arranged alliances between families, the bride and groom often did not know who one other was before the ceremony, let alone what they looked like.

Inevitably, there were meetings, either by accident or design. Bridegrooms who weren’t attracted to their future partner were known to mysteriously disappear just before the wedding.

What does the Best Man do and from where does his role originate?

Wedding guides are a little circumspect on this one, most of them suggesting that the Best Man’s job is to protect the groom from “bad luck.” The origins are ancient and the role was one of friend and protector.

In modern times, the interpretation of that is ensuring that the groom doesn’t end up with a black eye the night before the ceremony, and also avoids being chained naked to a lamp-post or put on a train from Norfolk to some far-flung destination on his stag night. The best man is required also to give a speech at the reception, carry the rings and get the groom to church on time.

Why do chimney sweeps turn up at wedding ceremonies?

It was considered extremely good luck if, on the journey to church, a bride saw a chimney sweep. Folklore suggests that on one occasion King George III’s carriage horses bolted and the only person who attempted to stop them was a small, sooty figure of a man.

There are not so many sweeps about in these days of smokeless fuel, but those who do eke out a living with the chimney brush are usually happy to make the occasional appearance at a wedding.

What is the significance of wedding rings?

And why does the bride wear hers on the third finger of her left hand? The ring is a symbol of love, an outward display that one is married. But it’s no accident that a groom slips the band of gold on to the third finger of his bride’s left hand. The ancient Egyptians believed it was a direct link to the vein of love. They romantically believed – wrongly as it turned out – that a vein passes through the third finger of the left hand and runs direct to the heart. However, not every culture holds this belief. In parts of India, for example, the ring is worn on the thumb, and the Russians prefer the ring finger on the right hand.

Why do we have church bells?

A peal of bells in the middle of a Saturday afternoon can mean only one thing – that a man and a woman are about to be joined in holy matrimony. It is a long-standing tradition that bells were rung to signify a marriage is taking place and again after the ceremony to announce to the local population that the couple was now one. Medieval myth also suggests bells were sounded to scare away any evil forces lurking close by.

Why do we throw confetti?

Many vicars hate the stuff because it messes up their churchyards. How many marriage services have you been to that begin with a lecture on not throwing confetti? It has to be said small, horseshoe-shaped pieces of multicoloured tissue paper are a job to clear up… and quite far removed from the origins of confetti. For confetti, make the link with Italian tradition and confectionery. Originally, the bride and groom were showered with sweets or raisins, nuts or rice as they emerged from the church. This was to bestow prosperity and fertility on the couple.

Why do we have wedding favours?

Wedding favours make perfect, traditional keepsake gifts for guests. Also originating in Italy, they were known there as Bomboniere. The Italians use delicate tulles and fine boxes to contain five delicious sugared almonds, each one symbolising health, wealth, happiness, long life and fertility. They do make lovely souvenirs of the marriage and it’s a nice touch, co-ordinated as they often are to match the flowers or the bridesmaids’ dresses.

What does a page boy do?

Usually nephews or younger brothers of the bride who occasionally carry the bride’s train, they also may be given the honour of carrying the rings on a cushion for the couple.

Why do we need to sign a certificate immediately after the ceremony?

What better time to do it? Joanne Hawes, superintendent registrar for the Norwich area, explains: “This is what makes the marriage a legally binding contract, by signing the certificate. It needs to be done with all parties present and in front of the witnesses.” There’s not going to be a more convenient moment than with bride, groom, relatives and witnesses present than immediately after the ceremony, whether that be in church, registry office or any other approved marriage venue.

What are the banns?

If you wanted to keep your wedding a secret, then this is where the vicar lets the cat out of the bag! Banns are the announcement of a proposed wedding and usually are read in church on three consecutive Sundays. The idea is that anyone who may object to the marriage has the opportunity to do so: “If any of you know cause or just impediment why these two persons should not be joined together in holy matrimony, ye are to declare it.” But if you miss the chance at the banns, there’s normally another opportunity to halt proceedings during the actual service, though such late interventions generally aren’t popular with the bride or her mother!

We eat after the ceremony so why is it called a wedding breakfast”?

In the past weddings were held in the morning, often between 10am and noon. Hence the meal was early too, and known as the wedding breakfast. The name has stuck, even though most wedding breakfasts now are consumed much later in the day.

Where does the phrase “honeymoon” come from?

In days of old, it is said, a man virtually had to capture his bride and hide her away from her angry parents, usually for a cycle of the moon. To fortify themselves they would drink honey wine or mead to encourage fertility. Hence the phrase “honeymoon”.

Why are brides given a lucky horseshoe or wooden spoon?

Like so many marriage traditions, these are shrouded in myth, legend and superstition. It’s all to do with luck. The Greeks regarded the horseshoe as a symbol of fertility, the “U” shape said to possess the quality to retain luck. As for the wooden spoon, the link was more practical, it simply being considered the most useful utensil in the kitchen.

Why does the bride throw her bouquet?

Tradition states she who catches the bride’s bouquet will be the next to marry, a rite guaranteed to encourage a little jostling for position among those still young, free and single.

For the boys, the bride was meant always to remove her garter and toss it towards the single men. This tradition fell out of favour when males, fortified by local ale, began to attempt to remove the garter before the bride was ready!

Why do we have hen and stag nights?

It’s a last night of freedom, a chance to say farewell to a single existence with close friends. Ancient Spartan soldiers were the first to hold stag parties, with the groom feasting and drinking with his male friends on the night before the wedding to say goodbye to the days of bachelorhood. Little change there then?! Nowadays for stag and hen nights often it’s a pub crawl or a weekend in Dublin, organised by the Best Man or Chief Bridesmaid.

Should the couple have a prenuptial agreement?

The lawyers will tell you it depends upon how much you’ve got to lose; the romantics will argue that it’s about how much you love your partner. Marriage is for life but, with one in three UK marriages ending in divorce, there’s a growing market for “pre-nups”, no doubt inspired by Hollywood-style weddings, which normally have a sell-by date. Fortunately, however, most couples are still happy to let love and romance take its natural course

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